Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category

Review: The Day the Earth Stood Still

Nollaig 11, 2008

Just saw this in Wexford Omniplex Preview December 10…
Scenes almost worth the price of admission:

1. Hospital scene with Keanu Reeves explaining why it feels so “weird” to be playing a human – “this body is going to take some getting used to”;

Related – 2. Interrogation scene –
“Are you human?”
Keanu: “My BODY is…”

3. Mac Donald’s scene – Keanu Reeves speaking Mandarin Chinese as equally goofily as he speaks English… my God, he has the EXACT SAME intonations!

Lessons from this movie:

1. Klaatu, Barack Sepuedo! – We can change, yes – we can… change. CHANGE. Do you get the subtle subtext?

2. It’s not too early to start romanticising America’s reconstruction of the entire Middle East in the image of it’s corporate sponsors, by focusing on the gravestones of the soldiers whose coffins we weren’t allowed to see in the first place;

3. Nothing so grabs the heart-strings of alien super-races – not the heroic sacrifices of African mothers walking miles for water, not Latin American children surviving on garbage dumps, not political dissidents in authoritarian regimes – _nothing_, so much as the sight of an affluent dysfunctional family giving each other a hug. Caveat: this may only work if said dysfunctional family consists of a beautiful, highly-educated, white single-step-mom and cute multiracial Tiny Tim with issues resulting from the death of his engineer soldier-father. Apparently, these are key demographics in swing-state alien super-race focus-groups).

4. No human problem is so great as cannot be solved by the complete cessation of all industry and technology – by the magical intervention of an industry and technology vastly more advanced than our own (not even windy-up watches – because they’re all, like, symptomatic of our destruction of the earth through the regimentation of human activity);

5. Despite their advanced technology, alien super-races are seemingly not smart enough to take into account the reaction that their unanticipated and uninvited arrival with overwhelming force might provoke amongst the natives… hey, they’re just like us! Also, it seems the US Army is not the only one lacking in basic body armour.

Wait'll we show this on YouTube!

Wait'll we show this on YouTube!

6. Confirmed: That One Central Park Tunnel-Underpass Most Likely Hiding Place From Any Alien-Apocalypse.

7. New York. Destroyed. Again. This, apparently, can really never be overdone. It’s a good thing Hollywood people live on the West Coast, I guess.

Verdict: this could have made a cool episode of the Twilight Zone. It does have somewhat decent effects and interesting (if slow) story build up, and then…. Meh? You could probably make up a more engaging conclusion and resolution on the car-ride home.

PS – so, they can:
1. Bring people back form the dead;
2. Zoom through space at Whotsit to the power of 7 meters per second;
3. Disintegrate an entire planet’s surface and/or target one species and all it’s products with self-replicating nano-bots;
But, BUT, they can’t terraform another planet? Give us a few tips? Send us a note before now? Wear a bullet-proof vest? (I guess you destroy a planet with the invasion force you have, not the invasion force you want)

First posted in the comments section of The Onion AV Club.